There's almost nothing I love more than a good picture. And the older, the better.
I came to this realization a couple of weeks ago when I saw this awesome, old picture in The News Examiner from Bear Lake.
(Sorry if you're my Facebook friend, because you've probably already seen this.)
The caption underneath the picture said that the riders were unknown. I stared in awe at how personal it seemed, even for an old picture. I loved the fact that the men were on their horses and in front of the tabernacle. I thought about the paved highway that replaced the frozen ground where the horses stood and what Paris might have looked like when that picture was taken. I wondered if I was related to one of those guys.
Then, later that night, I received an email from my mother stating that my Great Aunt Carma said the man on the right was her father, Leo Mattson. I knew there was a reason why that photo stood out to me so much!
I really love that photo. I swear there's nothing more striking than being able to see pictures of your ancestors in their everyday life, especially if you didn't know them. I love to look at the clothes they wore and their surroundings.
Lately, I've been thinking about photos and my love/hate relationship with them. Perhaps I should explain.
Even though I love pictures, I dread when someone takes a picture of me. When someone whips out their camera and says, "Picture time!" I groan. When I log in to Facebook and see that read little bubble that says, "So-and-so tagged you in a photo" I nearly panic. ACK! What photo?!
I don't know why, either. I don't consider myself to be a person with a low self-esteem, but it seems like so many other people either love or are just fine with having their picture taken. I guess I just forlorn the feeling of looking at a picture that someone took of me when I thought I looked good, only to find out I really looked dreadful that day, because it has certainly happened before.
You probably are all thinking, This girl is totally fishing for compliments. But I swear you all have got to know what I mean, right? Does anyone out there really love to get their picture taken?
What baffles me is when I see people who post pictures of themselves (FULL BODY--in outfits they have styled themselves!) on Chictopia, willingly, for everyone to see. To be comfortable with that is something I can't really wrap my head around. I look at them and think, They are so brave!
And it's not like I didn't grow up around cameras, either. My mother was always snapping pictures of us when we were younger and still does.
I remember late one night while I was up surfing around on the internet, I heard something rustling around in the dark room next to me. Suddenly, FLASH! And there was my mother, laughing about taking a picture of me on the computer so late. She probably just wanted to document all the nights that she had to wake up to tell me to go to bed because I was on the computer. Ha!
I came to the realization the other day that there would probably be a day when I would really regret not having pictures of me when I'm at this age. Looking back, I see pictures of myself when I was in my late teens and very early 20s and think, I looked great! Why did I have a problem with having my picture taken? I know there will be a point, when I'm old and wrinkly with grey hair, that I'll look back and think of how amazing I looked in comparison.
SO, to get over phobia of taking pictures of myself, I'm going to start taking more pictures of myself. If not every day, then at least, every week. When someone wants to take a picture of me, I'm going to jump in the picture with a big old smile instead of sitting there timidly with a half-grin. And then when they post that picture on Facebook for everyone to see, I'll try to resist the urge to untag it, no matter how hideous I think it is.
Because if I don't, what will I pass down to my kids, grandkids, and beyond? They won't have any photos of me to sit and ponder over, and to think, "Wow, those look like great times," or "Wow, look at her clothes!" If I take more pictures of myself, then they'll actually know what I looked like when I was in my 20s.
So, in keeping with my goal, here's a picture of me today:
Yeah, sorry to be all "high-school-girl-taking-a-picture-in-a-nasty-bathroom-with-her-cell-phone" on you, but sometimes it just is an easier way to take a picture. :)
I think I'm going to keep posting these pictures on my blog so I can more easily document dates. But don't worry! I will try to keep them out of the bathroom--and hopefully in more interesting, livelier places.
