I'm a White.

A few years ago, I remember my mother wanting me to take a personality test. I can't remember exactly why she wanted me to, but I took the test. My answer? You are White. And Yellow.

I didn't learn exactly what those colors meant or remembered it. I passed it off as just another "self-discovery" test that you forget about.

Then, a few years ago, my friend and I retook the test. Her father, from what I remember, was a big believer and even owned the disks explaining the different color personality types. The test is The Color Code, created by Dr. Taylor Hartman. Basically, you are given a set of questions. With each question you are given a list of words and you are supposed to pick out which word defines you best out of the four choices. At the end, you tally your words and find out which color personality you are.

So lo and behold, I received the same result that I had years before. I was a split between White and Yellow.

What do those colors mean, you might ask?

Here's the definition of a White, from Wikipedia (mostly because I can't find it on the actual website of the test):

Whites: The Peacekeepers

"Motivated by Peace, Whites will do almost anything to avoid confrontation and to create tranquility. They have a remarkable ability to understand and draw objective conclusions—they are the voice of reason, and this is their gift to us."

Hmm, sounds interesting, right? It goes on...

"White Strengths: Whites are kind, considerate, patient and accepting. Unlike Blues and Reds, they are not judgmental or critical of others’ actions or behaviors. They simply accept people for who they are: the good, the bad and the ugly. They are tactful, because they don’t want to create confrontation or rock the boat too much. Not rocking the boat is also revealed in Whites through their strength to self-regulate. Controlling their own behavior is a natural strength and this precludes impulsivity. To the rest of us, they offer a clear perspective that is objective and factual. They are excellent listeners, taking what is said sequentially, understanding why it is said, what it is going to take to deal with any problematic situations, and what they can do to help. They simply hear the facts, making no judgments on what is being said. In essence, they are virtually devoid of ego. They are good at constructing thoughts that did not exist before, just from careful listening and taking time to think things through.

White Limitations: Whites don’t commonly share what they are seeing, feeling or understanding. When they have a conflict, they won’t show it. Like a duck, they are paddling violently underwater, but on the surface, they appear calm and comfortable.

Whites can be unwilling to set goals. They are generally very content with the way things are. If you try to force them to set goals, they may reply, “I don’t know where I’m going to be in a month. How can I possibly set goals?” Better yet, they will write down the goals to get you off of their back, but have no intention of following through with them. They resist working at someone else’s pace.

Even though Whites seem ambivalent about most things, they can be very self-deprecating. They are very generous when it comes to accepting others’ limitations, but will be disapproving of themselves. On the flip side, they can also become uncomfortable when receiving public praise and fanfare. People with the DCM of Peace tend to operate on a very logical basis like Reds, but move through life using their ability to reason in a milder manner than Reds. They don’t need to dominate like a Red, but will calmly offer a voice of reason that benefits everyone."

So many points made in those paragraphs make me laugh, because I can see myself so clearly. First off, I am NOT a goal person. I don't think I've actually wrote down a goal, worked, and accomplished it. Sure I make little personal goals, but I don't strive on setting and keeping them.

Second, I am a huge fan of comfort. I'm all about it. If I ever feel awkward in a social situation or feel that I might, I avoid it at all costs. I hate it when my clothes make me uncomfortable. Confrontations=uncomfortableness, hence why I love to avoid them. Basically, anything that makes me uncomfortable and I know that it will, I generally avoid it.

Third, I have to laugh at the "Strengths" part because it makes a White sound as if they aren't human. Trust me, I judge people. I try not to, as I'm sure we all do, but it happens. I'm not sure if I'm a good listener, and so on and so forth.

I'm not going to post the full definition of a yellow, but you can find it here. Although I am largely White and Yellow, as time wears on, I find myself expressing my White habits more and more. I'm not sure if I like it, either.

Here's the conflict: I am opinionated. I don't show it often or tell it to many people, but I sure am. I love having good, truthful, and calm discussions with people about various things just as long as things don't get heated. This puts me in quite the predicament, doesn't it? I only like to share things when I know it won't lead to a confrontation or an uncomfortable situation of some sort. Then at the same time, if I keep things inside, I'm not sure anyone understands me. Hence the trap.

I also am pretty bad at expressing myself vocally, unless I know someone really well. That's where the need for writing and blogging comes in. Truthfully, I think I came to really liking writing so much is because it became a safe, easy way for me to express myself.

But there comes times for certain things that I just need to write to get it out of my system. It is my hopes that in sharing, it will make me less of a White than I want to be. Because I want to be the person who is not always deathly scared of confrontation and I want to learn to get outside of my comfort zone a little. So be warned. Such posts might be coming.

This is all sounding like a journal entry or a commercial, right? If you're wondering why I shared this, it is because I truly think that finding out your color personality will help you understand the reasons why you do certain things. There are so many times when I find myself doing something or read the descriptions of the various personalities and say, "AH! It makes sense!" (If you want to take the test, you can go here. It is free but it will also only give you one color result as opposed to giving you a graph showing you all the colors that make up you. But it's still a good test and it's still free. So go for it!)

One of them is my innate fear of people with a red color personality. Well, not really a fear, but they seem to be the exact opposite of me. I think the reason why my mother wanted me to take the test is because she has quite a lot of red in her and didn't understand how or why I did things. Learning this test also helped me understand opinionated, charged people more for SO many reasons. It helped me better understand the people around me, especially my family and friends.

So maybe blogging will help me get to the place where I want to be. Just maybe though, because I'm not setting any goals on it.

Have you taken the test? What are your colors? Did it help you discover your personality and answer questions that you've always had about yourself?